How to communicate with your Teenager
Posted on 2nd September 2019 at 09:00
Does it often feel like a hurricane has swept through your house and you are reeling from the aftermath of an anger outburst or a major strop?!
I’m a counsellor who helps parents to improve their family life. After all, we are not given a training manual when we become parents! It’s one of the hardest jobs we will do. So, to ease some of the potential stress, here are some tips and ideas on how you can communicate better in a lot of situations involving your teenagers.
Communication Fact: Only 7% of the message we communicate to another person is through the words we use. Our tone of voice accounts for 35% and our body language 58%.
Hence, that’s why we need to model what behaviour we would like to see by offering a calm, caring and non-judgemental approach to our teenagers – at least on the outside!
What about your needs as a Parent?
We don’t get a training manual for being a parent and our job is to support our child’s development from a baby until they are an independent adult and leaving home. A crucial part of being a parent throughout this time is maintaining your own self-care and meeting your own emotional and physical needs.
When boarding a plane we are given the safety talk about putting our own oxygen mask on first before helping our child…that is exactly how we need to parent by looking after ourselves and modelling a relaxed and calm and approachable stance whereby your teenager finds it easy to talk to you.
What do you do for yourself?
☺ A few ideas:
Regular exercise, walk, run or gym.
Being creative, knitting, sewing, drawing and colouring are all mindful and relaxing in a busy family life.
Connect with people, see friends for a social, cuppa and a chat, volunteer if you have spare time. Helping others always boosts our self-esteem and will help you as a parent.
Sleep better. If you are struggling with sleep then look at how you can sleep better – warm bath or shower, read before bed, body stretching, or yoga stretches can all help.
Couple time with your partner can help both of you support one another whilst parenting.
You will really see the benefits in a short time if you look after you and keep a calm and relaxed approach. You are the ‘glue’ that sticks your family together and if you are less stressed your teenager will be too. If you would like some more help with communicating with your teen then please do get in touch (my contact details are below). I’d love to help!
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