By Julie Wales, Family & Special Needs Counsellor 
 
Relationships are complex, and every couple faces their own set of challenges. However, some issues tend to surface more frequently in the work I do as a counsellor. These common struggles are often linked to emotional dynamics, communication patterns, and the unique pressures placed on couples, particularly when they are navigating the complexities of parenting, neurodiversity, or personal challenges. Let’s explore some of these common relationship issues, and how understanding and addressing them can help you and your partner build a stronger, more resilient connection. 

1. Parenting a Child with Special Needs or a Disability 

One of the most significant stressors in relationships is parenting a child with special needs, a disability, or a mental health condition. It requires a lot of emotional energy, understanding, and support. This unique challenge can lead to emotional exhaustion, conflict, and feelings of isolation, particularly when couples don’t share the same approach to care. Many couples may also feel uncertain about the future or have disagreements about how to best support their child. Building mutual understanding and support is key in this situation. 

2. Different Parenting Styles 

Even without the added complexity of special needs, many couples struggle with differing parenting styles. One parent may be more nurturing and hands-on, while the other may have a more structured or disciplinary approach. These differences can lead to friction and create confusion for the child. Finding a balance between these styles and learning to respect each other’s strengths can help alleviate some of the tensions. Open, respectful conversations about how each parent feels about certain parenting strategies can be extremely helpful. 

3. Difficulties with Other Family Members 

Another common issue couples face is the influence or interference of other family members. This might involve in-laws, siblings, or extended family, and it can create strain on the couple's relationship. Whether it’s too much unsolicited advice or conflicting expectations, managing these external relationships while keeping your relationship strong is a delicate balance. Setting clear boundaries and learning to prioritize your relationship above external pressures can help reduce these tensions. 

4. Misunderstandings and Communication Difficulties 

Communication difficulties can be heightened when one partner is autistic or has a neurodiverse way of interacting with the world. Misunderstandings often arise when one partner’s communication style differs from the other’s expectations. This can lead to frustration, feelings of being misunderstood, and emotional distance. Taking the time to understand each other's communication styles and being patient with the process can help bridge this gap and reduce misunderstandings. 

5. Tensions from Differences in Opinions, Preferences, Priorities, and Ways of Being 

Every person is unique, and differences in opinions, preferences, and priorities are natural. However, these differences can cause tension in a relationship when they are not respected or understood. When partners come from different backgrounds, have different values, or simply see things from different perspectives, it can lead to disagreements or frustration. Learning how to navigate these differences with respect and compromise is crucial in maintaining harmony and connection. 

6. Feelings of Resentment, Anger, and Anxiety 

Over time, unresolved issues in relationships can lead to feelings of resentment, anger, and anxiety. This is especially common when emotional needs are not being met, or when one or both partners feel unappreciated or unheard. These negative emotions can accumulate and erode the emotional foundation of a relationship. Addressing these feelings directly and finding healthy outlets for them, such as through open conversation or therapy, can help prevent them from fester. 

7. Grief and Loss 

Grief doesn’t just come from the death of a loved one; it can also result from life changes such as the loss of a relationship, the end of a dream, or the challenges faced when parenting a child with special needs. Couples may find themselves grieving what they thought their life would look like. Navigating grief together requires patience, understanding, and compassion. It’s important to allow space for each partner to process their grief, while also finding ways to support each other through the journey. 

8. Loss of Connection 

A loss of emotional connection is one of the most painful issues that couples face. Over time, busy schedules, emotional exhaustion, or unresolved conflicts can create a distance between partners. When the bond between partners weakens, it can feel like you're living with a roommate rather than a significant other. Rebuilding connection requires effort from both partners, such as spending quality time together, engaging in meaningful conversations, and being open to each other’s needs. 

9. Lack of Intimacy 

A lack of physical or emotional intimacy can be a sign of deeper issues in the relationship. It may stem from emotional distance, unresolved conflict, stress, or dissatisfaction. Intimacy is not just about physical connection, but also about feeling emotionally safe, valued, and understood. Rediscovering intimacy in a relationship often involves addressing the emotional barriers that have been built up over time and working together to rebuild trust and connection. 

10. Sexual Dissatisfaction 

Sexual dissatisfaction is another common issue that many couples face. It may arise from mismatched desires, stress, emotional disconnection, or even physical or health concerns. Sexual intimacy is often closely tied to emotional well-being, so when other areas of the relationship are struggling, sexual dissatisfaction can follow. Talking openly about needs and desires, seeking help if necessary, and prioritising connection can help address this issue. 

11. Repeating Arguments 

Repeating arguments or circular disputes can be incredibly draining for a relationship. This happens when couples find themselves arguing about the same issues repeatedly, without making any progress. Often, these arguments are a sign that deeper issues have not been addressed. Couples may benefit from learning conflict resolution techniques, taking breaks when tensions rise, and seeking external support to help break the cycle of repeated arguments. 
Final Thought... 
 
These relationship challenges are common, but not insurmountable. With open communication, respect, and a willingness to work through difficulties, couples can grow stronger together. Seeking support through counselling, support groups, or other resources can help maintain a healthy relationship. If you’re facing any of these challenges, remember you’re not alone—help is available to support you both. Contact Julie to chat! 
 
Call Julie Wales: 07412651894 
Email: hello@juliewalescounselling.co.uk 
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