By Julie Wales, Family & Special Needs Counsellor 
Human beings change and grow – we do it all the time and in emotional and physical ways. Emotional growth is often a gradual process that happens over time, and sometimes we might feel a bit ‘stuck.’ At these times, we are reminded of how we need others in our lives to help us to keep growing. “Children’s Mental Health” Week - A Place 2 Be. 
I want to share my daughter’s story of growth. 


Over the years there have been barriers and traumatic experiences she had to go through. 
Her school journey was not the most enjoyable for her as she struggled with academic subjects and building relationships with people. There were friendship fallouts which is normal for teens and tears and not wanting to go to school. Not the best of starts! 
But she hardly had a day off school. She never gave up. 
Once at College, life became a little easier for a while as she was enjoying the course she took. That was until the end of the course, and nothing was certain about the next step. The higher-level course was out of reach, so the college told us. She felt like she had wasted two years! She was low in confidence and doubting herself and her future. We had a bereavement at the same time. Her mental health was at an all time low. She sought a Counsellor, and this helped pick her back up again. 
She never gave up. 


Her journey through different jobs in the field she trained in was up and down and after being bullied in the workplace we knew catering was not the kind or right environment for her to be in. She had success in one work scheme but that ended abruptly. 
Eventually she was admitted to an internship scheme and worked with a great bunch of people in a local education setting and loved the work and the people. She even managed to study for a Business & Admin qualification and passed. YAY! 
Then in 2020 Covid 19 hit. Everyone was sent home and that was the end of her internship. So, she and our family have endured losses over the years in one form or another. People have not understood and doubted her. This affects the whole family as we are all growing together. She is now working with a job coach to reach her dream job one day. 
She never gave up. 


Our daughter started to learn to drive years ago. 
After failed attempts at the theory test, she collaborated with an online tutor who helped her pass with flying colours! The mark she got was outstanding as she had worked so hard it paid off. 
She never gave up. 
Now the driving test was in sight.  
Anxiety was in her way. Disappointed repeatedly, she kept booking the test and turning up.  
The day she would take her test and pass was the day after a significant loss of a much-loved family member! 
As you can imagine, we all cried tears of joy and emotions were bittersweet. 
But she did it for the family member who she felt would be willing her on. She felt SOOO strongly driven about taking that test that she was going to be more confident. 
Even though I don’t think she realised at the time, she is resilient, patient and she persevered. 
She never gave up and as a family we taught her the power of getting back up when you have a fall. 
She can now happily move forward with her independence. 
Resilience is not just your ability to bounce back, but also your capacity to adapt in the face of challenging circumstances, whilst maintaining a stable mental wellbeing. Resilience isn't a personality trait – it's something that we can all take steps to achieve. 

Some tips to improve your resilience are: 

Practice being more assertive to improve your confidence and reduce stressors. Say no more! 
Use relaxation techniques that work for you. Walks, Music, Journaling. 
Develop your interests and hobbies. Connect with your friends more and meet new people who share the same interests as you. 
Ask for Help. Reach out if you are struggling as it is a sign of strength and courage and will boost your resilience. 
Be Kinder and more compassionate to yourself. Record your accomplishments and anything of which you are proud. 
Now I love helping families to boost their resilience and improve their resources. 
We can do anything if we believe we can. 
Whatever is going on in your life, have you got your resilience and compassion for yourself? 
Get in touch if you want help to find your resilience. 
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