Help and support for all aspects of family life & more...
Julie Wales offers a specialist and unique counselling service for all aspects of family, and in particular special needs families. She has a long history of helping clients with a variety of issues, from child disability, stress, low self-esteem, family conflict, caring roles, relationship issues and more.
Short or long-term counselling available
Whether you are a parent, carer, teenager, couple or simply an individual who is struggling, Julie can help.
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Special Needs Counselling Service
Julie has personal experience of dealing with special needs and carer issues, so if living with the effects of ill health or disability has left you feeling isolated, alone or unheard, you will be able to find the support and understanding you need here. Please feel free to get in touch to discuss how Julie may be able to help you.
Asking for help is hard if you feel low, depressed or anxious. You want someone to listen to you, but find it all a bit daunting.
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How to communicate with your Teenager
Does it often feel like a hurricane has swept through your house and you are reeling from the aftermath of an anger outburst or a major strop?!
I’m a counsellor who helps parents to improve their family life. After all, we are not given a training manual when we become parents! It’s one of the hardest jobs we will do. So, to ease some of the potential stress, here are some tips and ideas on how you can communicate better in a lot of situations involving your teenagers.
Communication Fact: Only 7% of the message we communicate to another person is through the words we use. Our tone of voice accounts for 35% and our body language 58%.
Hence, that’s why we need to model what behaviour we would like to see by offering a calm, caring and non-judgemental approach to our teenagers – at least on the outside!
What about your needs as a Parent?
We don’t get a training manual for being a parent and our job is to support our child’s development from a baby until they are an independent adult and leaving home. A crucial part of being a parent throughout this time is maintaining your own self-care and meeting your own emotional and physical needs.
When boarding a plane we are given the safety talk about putting our own oxygen mask on first before helping our child…that is exactly how we need to parent by looking after ourselves and modelling a relaxed and calm and approachable stance whereby your teenager finds it easy to talk to you.
What do you do for yourself?
☺ A few ideas:
Regular exercise, walk, run or gym.
Being creative, knitting, sewing, drawing and colouring are all mindful and relaxing in a busy family life.
Connect with people, see friends for a social, cuppa and a chat, volunteer if you have spare time. Helping others always boosts our self-esteem and will help you as a parent.
Sleep better. If you are struggling with sleep then look at how you can sleep better – warm bath or shower, read before bed, body stretching, or yoga stretches can all help.
Couple time with your partner can help both of you support one another whilst parenting.
You will really see the benefits in a short time if you look after you and keep a calm and relaxed approach. You are the ‘glue’ that sticks your family together and if you are less stressed your teenager will be too. If you would like some more help with communicating with your teen then please do get in touch (my contact details are below). I’d love to help!
Parents Summer Survival Guide
I help parents who are caring for children and young people with special needs or disability.
How do you manage the new routine in the summer holidays?
We all like to have an idea of what is going to happen in our day. Children with autism miss most of the language and social/behavioural cues that help the rest of us understand what is happening.
Autistic children can also become anxious, resistant and may misbehave simply because they have no way to anticipate the events that come upon them each day.
Visual schedules quickly inform the child about the day's expectations in the long summer holidays.
Summary to Managing Change and Transition Anxiety
Try Special Yoga stretches at home together with your child to aid relaxation for you both.
Watch TV/Movies wearing your pyjamas together.
Dance around the house to your favourite Music.
Camp out in your garden or build an indoor den using blankets, etc.
Lay down using a weighted blanket.
Use a special clock or Mobile Phone Timer to countdown end of computer time or task.
Use a Visual Schedule to display day or week ahead as discussed above
Talk about what is happening and explain in basic language using your families means of communication, e.g. Pictures, look at places visiting on the computer before you go.
If holidaying abroad, most UK airports now provide a ‘Sunflower’ lanyard for the child to carry and also have staff who can help offer special assistance to your family if needed. If you are wearing the lanyard, staff should recognise it and understand that you have a hidden disability and that you may need a little extra help or time.
Allow your child to come up with their own stress solutions. Use of objects, favourite toys, photo’s, Makaton signs, PECS symbols, drawings, taking a set of cards out with the child, etc.
Match your child’s enjoyment and passion with your activities, e.g. my son loves trees, so he likes to visit Forest areas where he is so relaxed and calm and happy.
If your child loves computers then use their tablet for enjoyment and learning or as a reward for visiting somewhere they were anxious about.
Finally... looking after yourself is so important. Self-Care really boosts our own mental health and self-esteem.
Ask yourself: What can you do for yourself, this summer?
When we take time to care for ourselves, we can:
1. Lower stress levels
2. Teach our children to value their health and wellbeing
3. Be better, healthier, calmer parents
Parenting can be tough. It’s okay to ask for help. Phone me anytime on 07412 651 894 for a chat.